One Challenge in Life: Feeling Alone in Decision Making

So this week has been a emotional week for me. I feel like I do not have a purpose at all after yesterday. There was one question I have been avoiding for a while. That question is "What are you going to do with your life Peter?" 

For sometime now, I feel blank and that was something I could not answer. I use to say I am going to graduate with my Bachelors and possibly move on with my Masters and do business. But if I say that, what kinda of business will I be doing? When will I be doing it? Why am I doing this? I feel like I am just saying it just because and I just do not want to be someone that has his life set.

This came up to me yesterday by a friend. I told him about my concern about this path of the music business I was taking and about my education right now in school. By taking the path into the music industry, I have officially put myself into a harder position because I have to work extra hard. My voice has not reached its peek nor achieved any success yet. The problem right now is just money. I am just broke.

So when education came up, I told my friend that I was planning on working with Children International or become a graduate assistant because if you work for the school you have get a discount on your tuition. My friend then told me "What are you going to do with your life?" "You need a plan Peter..."

So it's safe to say he was correct because having a plan is a wise decision. But when it comes to making a decision about my life, I just feel like I am alone. I know I have friends that can support me about it, but my family won't. My parents think its a foolish decision because they do not believe in me yet. I also just wish I had a significant other but I do not yet. Especially with what I had to put up with, I do not know if I should believe in love.

I always remember what I always follow and hear. "God works in mysterious ways. He puts us in journeys and challenges to help us grow stronger. He does everything a reason."

So am I loving someone for the wrong reasons or do I not want to be alone? Peter, Peter, Peter... Just grow up... I can't just be in this make believe word. I have to work hard and be more realistic. UGH!! It's just hard talking about this.

Anyways, point is:

Learn to love yourself and learn to be by yourself. If you can't love yourself and be by yourself, how you going to love and be with someone?

This is a great start!

Pier Nguyen singing "I believe I can fly" by R. Kelly

All morning and all day, I was preparing for my pre-judging! So I took it a little too far with preparing. I strained my voice too much, and did something I should have not done which caused my vocals to not get enough air. So basically I set myself up for disaster. What made it worse was eating an Apple... A FREAKING APPLE!! Next thing you know my throat starts closing up and I am freaking out!

To top all of that, I am running around like my hair is on fire trying to find 3 different outfits for my model walk on camera and to burn a instrumental version of "I believe I can."

So I make it on time to the set and guess what... I FORGOT THE OTHER HALF OF MY WARDROBE! But that was okay, I made it look legit :)

When it came up for me to sing, I was so nervous. When I was singing, I just forgot... Forgot everything. I was trying so hard to sing it but the nervousness just kicked in. I messed up on some keys, especially them high ones at the end of the song :(

However, I did learn something important. You just do not wake up one morning and say "I want to be a professional singer." That's not the case. You have to work at it and I have only been doing this for 2 years so far, but this has been a big dream of mine. This has also been a great start. I will def. be looking forward to this experience for future purposes.

Here is me singing some falsetto ranges :D

Keeps Getting Better

So I just got back from a casting-crew party our agent hosted. I was glad we had one of these. All the members came out and we celebrated the night on good work and that we had one more week till the show case.

I remember when I was at the first audition, singing "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. My brother Chris C. told me to sing it but a vocal professional told me not to because it was out of my range.

At the least, I sung it and it was an epic fail. Did I mention the judges gave me a second chance? So I decided to sing "I believe I can fly" by R. Kelly and got pass the audition! I was very proud of myself and from that point on I just started believing in myself.

I am very passionate when it comes to music. I rather do it then anything else. I cannot believe I am majoring into something I do not like or have the passion to. If I could go back, I would major in music and art. I thought I would never be one of those students that change their major like two or three times. On the bright side of it, the economy is looking unpredictable and being a music major would not cut it. Business degrees and other minors can get me a job so I am glad I have something to lean on. Def. pursuing in a masters degree when I graduate with my bachelors.

My agent S'cie Ward

So anyways, to the right is my agent/networking connections Miss S'cie. My friend Vakeyia D. recommended me to her and so far things have change. I do not know if this is Gods way of telling me or opening doors for me, but I want to know lol. Thanks Vakeyia!

So anyways, I am hoping this experience will open doors for me in the talent industry. I hope to compete in the X-Factor in May and the Expo in June, both of them taking place in Dallas :)

Let's just hope I will be ready for the worse and the best.

Letting things go

I think everyday, there is always a lesson rather it be the big things in life or even the smallest things you take for granted. My co-worker/the awesomes boss I have ever had made me realize something today. I was at work at the non-profit organization I work at called Children International, and we were cleaning and organizing our area. 

My boss Stephanie :)

She said to me "we tend to keep things in our life because we think it is something we value. As much as we like to keep everything, we have to let somethings go."-Stephanie J.

What was funny was that she was talking about cleaning her area up with all those unwanted things piled up in her desk. Stephanie made me realize something. I told her "what you just said can be related to almost everything; life, relationships, friends, assets, things of value, etc." 

Pier Nguyen

Right now, I am dealing with loving myself. I have not came to that point in my life yet. How do I know? It is because I tend to put someone else before me when it should be equal. I am just tired of hurting myself when it comes to relationships. The thing is that I know better, but I still have that low self-confidence. I always feel like I need someone there for me. As much as I know it would help me if I could just not worry about being alone, that is just something I need to work on. What Stephanie said was very meaningful. I'm keeping someone right now that I think has value to me, but why is it not working? I believe in giving chances but are they for the right reasons? Is it because I am hoping that person will change?

All I know is that I am still finding out who I am, and I am glad that I am expressing it to my readers. 

This is my favorite quote:

"IF YOU CAN'T LOVE YOURSELF, HOW THE HELL YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEONE ELSE?"

 

I did not know I can sing!

I just cannot believe I can sing! I have always thought about singing but I never knew I could make a career out of it. I love to sing since I was a child. I just never pursued in it because I never thought about it, and when I did sing it would be around my friends. The friends I made back then were not supportive about my singing so I never really had the chance to do it. I have always played around with my voice so I never took that serious, but I cannot say for the same things in my life that I do.

I was really passionate about writing music because I just had so much emotions, strong feelings, and had good things to say. Most of them were about love, go figure lol. I dealt with plenty of emotional relationships that I tend to write lyrics about my experience. Most of my songs were based on ending relationships out of anger and sorrow. When I look back and read the songs I wrote, I remember... I remember all the mutual feelings I had back then but I also remember what I went through and showed me that I became a stronger person.

I realized my song is just not a song but also a communicator. There are people out there that understand this type of music I am producing, rather it be about love, fun, political there is bound to be someone out there just like me. It was not till I found out that I should start singing. So of fall 2009, I took a singing class from UALR. I had some what an eccentric professor but she got me started with singing. I learned a little bit about singing but not enough to professionally use my voice.

I remember trying out for this audition from the college to this singing competition. I think it was called Trojan Idol. So anyways, I went to the audition and I sang "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. I just remember how stupid it was for me to sing it. I was super nervous and I did not take it seriously. I just for the lyrics of it. The judges told me that even though they thought I had a good voice, I just needed to work on my personality and nervousness. So I did, and now I won my audition for singing and modeling for the Major Market Model, which they are hosting the Arkansas Honors Event Showcase.

I think I worked really hard on my nervousness and my techniques in singing. If I can tell something important to a future singer, do not try to sing like the artist. Sing it with your own voice and style. And do not pick a song that is out of your range. For instance, do not be a guy and pick "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston lol.

So right now, I'm working hard and my finalized judging performance is in another day and I am excited. Just one more day. This is really a great start to my career; setting some foundations and networking. I will never give up :) especially when I am trying to be a role model to the younger generation.